hi everyone..
finally today is the last day of my work!
i mean..
Chinese New Year holidays!
viola~~ woot!
by the way..
i had doing some searching..
and i knew something that i do not suppose to know..
how to say..
it was like i knew it years..
like i said..i wont bother..
even "someone" purposely want to show to me..
i wont care about it..
that's the end of the story!!!
well...uummm..
i've been feeling so down..
i dont know why.. im trying to feel happy..
even i do.. just at that moment..
or im just pretend?
am i have been negative all the way long?
is it? i dont mind if you're telling the truth..
just i need to change right?
but i dont know why my heart is always crying..
especially when im in my room..
maybe my room is some kind of place where i can relax myself..
let all my sad feeling away.. or peace?
i've been thinking alot and alot more than usual..
even im working.. i still think about it..
something?
if there's someone for me..
how nice it is..
some how i feel sad if there's no one..
i know everything will do..
so, it's okay for me..
maybe i did change abit or alot?
or maybe you guys change?
the way you are is far apart than before..
or im the one?
i dont know..
what im trying to say is..
some how if i just purposely forget you all..
try not to contact each other..
i wonder how it is..
guess it's normal right?
bcause friends doesnt mean anything..
isnt it?
all had been lost contact long time ago..
before i started work until now i have work..
there's nothing much to change..
that's what i feel..
after Chinese New Year..
still left how many months i still stay here?
if i really gone..
do anyone miss me?
im always curios about this question..
even there's no one..
i guess everything will do..
for some reason..
nothing much can help out though..
by the way..
i feel like someone has been avoiding me recently..
some how hate me or somthing..
is it?
or i think too much?
if you're gonna continue like this..
why dont you just tell me instead of being like this?
what im trying to say is..
why dont we stop chatting or something..
straight forwardly.. we shouldnt contact each other for good..
cause there's something must be done..
guess maybe you listen someone said about me or whatever stuff which is BAD..
believe me or "someone"
it's your choice..
choose the path that you wish..
i had enough being like this..
it's make me feel depressed about it..
even you do..
there's some reason..
i understand.. i believe so..
i mean you dont have to force yourself to chat with me or something..
pretend like it's okay..
that's not what i wanted..
you are you..
just stay where you were...that's enough already..
cause i just like the way you are..
simply telling me some lies and fooling me around..
that's not very nice..
if you care what i feel..
why dont you just be honest to me
instead of lying me?
you just make me get more injuries for my heart though..
if you feel like it's fun to play around me..
continue then..
i wont bother ..
i wont find you anymore..
that the end for us
i dont want say more..
cause i know im annoying..
it's not worth for me to care about it..
at the end..
who's going to feel regret about it?
you or me?
think before you make any decision..
cause you might hurt someone you care and love..
appreciate them before you lost them...
cause she/he's the only one
and the only personality they have
the only appearence
and someone..
will always be there for you..
accept any request from you..
make your smile stay always..
make you happy always..
my 허락 towards you will never change till the end..
아무 말도 못 해도 아무렇지 않아요
그댈 볼 수만 있다면
가질 수가 없어도 만질 수가 없어도
시린 가슴 한번 쓸어내리고 참아내죠
어디에 있는지 잘 있는지 그대 하루가 걱정이죠
달빛 머금은 애타는 밤에는 그 생각에 잠 못 들죠
또 다시 태어나는 그 날엔 하늘이 허락하길 바래요
우리의 이뤄질 수 없었던 사랑을
그대 곁에 없어도 그대 뒤에 있어요
외로운 그림자 되어
돌아보고 싶어도 돌아봐선 안돼요
한뼘 행복마저 줄 수 없는 날 피하세요
한 걸음 두 걸음 나보다 더 조금 서둘러 걸어가요
나의 두 손이 또 나의 두 발이 그대 길을 막지 않게
또 다시 태어나는 그 날엔 하늘이 허락하길 바래요
우리의 이뤄질 수 없었던 사랑을
하늘아 내 사랑을 가려줘
바람아 내 아픔을 날려줘
그대가 내 눈물을 모르게 부탁해