i was so UNHAPPY today..

i cried in the bathroom..

as i had enough of HER!!!

what's on her MIND is all about my BRO!!!

everyday came home..

he opens comp..

please..

dont misunderstand..

he dont have any tension..

cause she'll definately gets what he wants!

so, what for need to WORRY?

me?

i get nothing..

when i really want it..

i didnt said a WORD!

as i doesnt really need it AT ALL..

because economics started to change..

everything costs high prices..

which really cant buy something you really wana own it..

well..

i cant tell ling about it..

cause i just dont want her to worry about me..

as i cant tell her everything..

cause it doesnt really serious..

yet..

i could only tell my "sis"

he might understand..

i guess..

PS: by the way, the sab guy..

he's so COOL!!

he played guitar..

and it really nice..

hahaha..

hey hey..

it's me AGAIN!

okay...

recently im buzy with the ELS stuffs..

it's true!

yet i have to participate in one of the games

(i guess)

ohh.. well whatever.

nowadays i've been hating someone!

which always because of small matters keep on SCOLDING ME!!!

okay.. i really dont know WHAT THE HELL WRONG..

but honestly..

i dont feel the right way!

playing comp can release tension..

so, why shouldnt i play it?

iit normal for a human being..

yet my mum keep on scolding me..

scolding which im always playing comps..

for everyday in 24 hours..

i didnt okay?

is my brother and yet she didnt scold him but ME!

even im the spm student..

so what?

others same age as me more worst than me, okay?

for example : brandon

(ps: please dont mind)

another thing..

she's been keep on calling me having dinner..

dinner you can eat any type of food you want right?

as long as you take your meal..

and she's scolding me because of this..

yet she's telling me if dont want eat then dont eat la..

okay..

i do as you said so..

i dont feel like eating.. then i dont eat la..

now..

what it ends up is..

scolding me..

bla bla bla bla bla..!

i dont know why since when it always like this..

i just dont care and do my stuffs..

she's making me MAD MAD MAD!!!

i didnt talk to her cause i dont want to "fan" so much!

and always talking about my sis and her guy!

what the hell!

non of my business la..

keep on repeating the same thing everyday for what!

yet i dont interest, okay?!

i feel like everything she did is soooo UNFAIR!!!

im so SICK of my mum..

well, as she's my mum ..

i'll still respect her..

but the she is..

i cant ACCEPTED!

she's really DRIVING ME CRAZY!

she's sooo SELFISH..

always think about her own and her beloved son

and also my SIS!!!!

i know "SOMEONE" might envy me cause of my mum nagging me..

i know what im doing and everything..

so, just leave me ALONE!!!

i really dont like people interup me..

as they are finding me for some argue..

i though i'd wake up at 10.30am

cause im awake thou..

by the way i suppose to going NEWAY with my primary school's friends

but i didnt ..

cause there're some bad memories related with them..(most of them)

maybe you think that im too mind about what they've done

ohh well... never mind

then..

what its ends up was i slept for another 1 hour!

swt swt swt..

so, i clean up my face, change my clothes

EVERYTHING gao tim..

when down stairs..

looking for my lunch...

my parents were buzy with their stuff..

no choice but have to wait till 2pm

they packed me fried mee..

hahaha..

then i do my tuition homeworks..

well, biasa la..

adrian's aunt what!

ever since form3 it always be like this..

so, after finish..

we ate our dinner in a restaurant..

near our house area..

cause the restaurant is one of father's business customer..

so, MUST GIVE FACE la..

then, went to TESCO buy some stationary..

i though i could buy donuts from BIG APPLES!

what it ends up is...

my dad dont let..!

but when i bought home..

he just keep on EAT EAT EAT..

until FINISH!

really horrible right?

that's why when i bought some crakers..

i HIDE it..

dont you think is unfair?

there's something which SO TRUE about men!

to me.. IT'S TOTALLY A FACT

for guys.. IT'S JUST A LIE

guys' problem:

if you treat him NICELY, he says you're IN LOVE with him

if you DONT, he says you're PROUD

if you dress GORGEOUS, he says you're trying to LURE him

if you DONT, he says you're NO TASTE OF FASHION

if you ARGUE with him, he says you're STUBBORN

if you KEEP QUITE, he says you NO BRAIN

if you're SMARTER than him, he'll lose face

if he's smarter than you, he's GREAT

if you dont love him, he tries to posses you

if you love him, he tries to LEAVE you

if you dont make love with him, he says you dont love him

if you DO, he says you CHEAP

if you tell him your problem, he says you're TROUBLESOME

if you dont, he says you DONT TRUST him

if you scold him, you're like his NANNY to him

if he scolds you, it because he CARES about you

if you BREAK YOUR PROMISE, you'll lost his TRUSTED

if he breaks his, he's FORCED to do

if you SMOKE, you're a BAD GIRL

if he SMOKES, he's a GENTLEMAN

if you do well in your exam, he says you're LUCKY

if he does well, it's BRAINS

if you HURT him, you're CRUEL

if he HURTS you, you're too SENSITIVE

sometimes i feel so horrible to myself..

is a simple things that everyone can done well..

except for me..

im so easily get influence..

yet im so noob..

i felt pity for myself..

and yet im happy that im lucky..

cause there's someone more pity than me..

hahaha..

brothers and sisters..

siblings are the one who always support you no matter what happen..

yet nowadays i really dislike the way my brother is..

he's like wana become those "lala" type..

all his style..

really make me...

yet my mum still didnt said a word!

is this fair?

i just play comp for "awhile"

cause yesterday i've no tuition..

and i've finished my homework

yet she's saying me im this and that..

ohh.. well

i really dont like to be like this..

but im really really mad..

but even im mad..

no one cares..

cause they just though about themself..

they didnt care what others feel..

well, im really felt disapointed..

but im okay..

yet ling will always support and my other good friends too!

ohh.. yeah!

i've almost forgot!

next wed i've a practice for badminton

cause next fri is the competition.

neh!

im just ganti vivian only la..

yet she asked me.

cause she's my best friend what..

of course i will accept her request..

even she's so nice that she didnt force me..

hahaha..

but still this is the last year for me..

so, im trying to release my tension!

hahaha

well, im kindaf complicated..

that's me!

i was always wondering..

every single thing in my life..

but when i realize..

it doesnt matter anymore..

cause the more you care..

the more you stress out easily..

today..

it was as usual to do the same thing everyday

it just that im HAPPY he didnt came!

so, i no need to see his black face again!

hahaha..

Plus, szeyen was right..

be a friend than a lover is much more easier..

as a friend you can tell whatever you want

do whatever you want

but as a lover..

there's a limit..

you cant too close with a guy

as he will get jealous..

you must answer his phone call..

even you are buzy..

you must do whatevr he told to..

if not he might not happy..

ok.. simple..

but then one thing good about it..
which you wont feel LONELY..
he will be by your side..
whenever you're sad..
im so envy the relationship between jes and ed..
or im so jealous?
they are so IN LOVE!
which make me to get one..
too bad, there's no one i could accept..
or there is no one LOVE ME as a lover?
sometimes i feel like having a boyfriend is a burden?
well, my mum keep on asking me how's going with "them"
okay, seriously..
i really dont want both of them..
even they have good qualities..
but i dont feel the right way..
for now..
there's no rush..


true love might exsists in your life one day..
you cant meet your prince charm
yet he might just a stranger to you...
but sooner or later..
he might get close to you...
closer and closer..
time can prove everything..
i hope my prince charm will appreciate me..
care me..
love me..
and everything about me..
in his mind and thoughs..
no matter what happen...

PS: it might be dream.. somehow. SWT!

its been awhile i havent update my blog...

recently im quite lazy too..

plus, there's nothing i can blog out.

so...

im though today gonna be a nice day.

too bad there's someone make me mad..

until i want to slap him..

scolded him with rude words..

and want to be mean..

as if he's the kind of person who easily get upset..

and emo about anything in his life..

i'll definitely wont give a damn about it!

trust me...

this is reality..

but why?

im the one who always get hurt by him..

it was a heavy rain today..

as it make me feel down too..

then when i came in the class..

i though i could talk and had fun with him..

but things didnt turn out to be like this..

he's just black face to me..

but at least tell the reason why..

you keep on like this..

and im just so NOOB..

i knew nothing..

you just cant tell anything by showing your black face right?

who do you think i am?

im not a MIND READER!

if i am..

i suppose to be comfort you long ago..

i told ling about it..

and then i meet brandon there..

he gave me have a look at the graphs..

he was my really nice and good friend ever!

so, he was passed by..

ling told me that he was stare at me..

whatever, i dont care!

my mum was right..

S.A.B's guy is better than you..

i mean his attitude..

and he might be the right guy for me..

but i dont have any feel towards him..

and now what it turns up is..

im avoiding him..

as HK is came back tuition..

so, there's no reason he could sit with me..

plus, we dont have anything thing to talk about..

what we could talk in between was all about SCHOOL STUFF.

im so INNOCENCE and yet im so SINCERE..

i know someday things would be more CLEAR

than i though

but when i realize, i just hope it just a dream..

when i needed you, you were gone some where..

or you just pass by..