our face red like apples..

ling and janice..
wen chien looks blurr..


MERENTAS DESA
well..

today is our school's merentas desa
quite fun!
i really got semangat..
just abit more then i can get the price.
hahahaha..
well, i didnt run with ling..
i run with one of my malay's friend.
she quite GENG le.
starting we slow joged..
if pecut means easily get tired on the half way..
i didnt stop..
keep on run and run..
until nearly end..
im hardly breath..
i stop awhile...
then when it's near the end point..
janice was with me..
so, i pecut.
i get 22 among 50
last is among 30
i get the last one..
this year better than last year.
hahaha..
vivian didnt came..
really waste..
hahaha..
after the jog..
i nearly fainted..
so, i just rest awhile..
and get my food and drinks..
i didnt ate the rice..
i just ate the curry puff..
so, on the way home..
my mum packed me KFC
this is the first time i finished the whole set le..
*...........BANGGA............*
i didnt take much pics..
cause the guys' fault!
i dont know why they all so shy for what..
take pic like killing them..
swt swt swt..
i didnt went to the campfire of S.A.B
well, i dont feel like going..
not because of anything..
just dont want to go..
--------------------------------------------------------
he's telling me he didnt kao lui..
but then ends up with what..
haih~
guys are like this..
i mean few of them..
no choice..
who called them are "guys"

i was so sad today..

im so emo..

i cried today..

i though it was going to be a happy day for me..

unfortunately..

at the last period..

was my class teacher came in..

so, he was preparing the reportcard..

for next friday..

i was doing my homework thou..

then one of my malay's friend came..

she told me that im 28 among the whole..

i was STUNT!

later on..

kah mun also went there have a look..

it's true..

everyone said about me..

and keep on asking me WHY?

okay..

i dont know anything, PLEASE!

i told ling about it..

and my tears starting to drop..

i really really sad..

she said it's impossible..

and she think maybe the teacher make some mistakes..

so, she comfort me..

but if this is the fact..

i still need to move forward..

while im telling my mum..

my tears keep on came out..

she said it's impossible..

others got all fail get 10++

you didnt fail all..

howcome get the last 4?

maybe she's right..

i dont have emo to ate my lunch..

i just feel SAD SAD SAD..

i cant stop thinking about it..

and i keep on asking myself WHY?

hmmmm...(breath out)

i just dont know what to do..

today was just as usual..

well, i've been buzy with my projects!

today my moral teacher only tell us the format...

za dao! i really want to F her le..

then she said must hantar on this tues..

swt swt swt..

well..

of course i did get back my f4 de moral project..

but the tugasan harian was MISSING!

i did done and passed up ady..

then he's telling me that he lost it?!

luckily, i did copy more..

so, no worries!

okay..

now i still have 2 kerja amal to go on..

plus, exam coming soon..

i havent prepare anything yet!

haih~

i mum keep on annoy me..

im really STRESS until i've lose my weight until 39kg la..

my hormone really uncontrolable..

swt swt swt..

getting thin and thin..

haih~

so, this coming saturday is MERENTAS DESA..

and also S.A.B's CAMPFIRE..

i feel like not going..

as its really expensive..

7 bucks for uniform..

10 bucks for casual..

swt swt swt..

but then he hope i can come..

as he got came for my school's campfire thou..

plus, no people teman me go..

ling's mum might not let her go..

then HK is going..

i got asked him..

but then he said his mum dont let...

i didnt hope for anything..

just want to let him know..

nowadays we arent have any chat..

neither is looking each other..

i mean seriously we dont talk at all..

afterall im just a spare tire..

i told him that we going to start on next week..

so he said anything...

that's all for the conversation between us..

well..

i guess it's better thou..

good for each other..

maybe..

i dont blame him..

as im the one's fault..

im feel so silly..

no matter how hard i try to have a conversation between us..

at the end..

we just like stranger..

even he knew how i feel..

there's nothing he can do..

he just got dumped by "her"

so, no MOOD is a comment thing in his life..

every time i came in class...

he's always shows his black face to me..

you show me for what?

i cant know anything from your face la..

sometimes i really want to say rude words to him..

but i cant cause he's really easy to get hurt..

that's why i didnt!

today was nothing much..

well, im feel so sleepy nowadays...

okay.. there's lotsa project need to rush on..

tomorrow i need to pass up the moral project..

friday is pk project..

add maths...

i've forgotten le..

hahaha..

exam coming soon..

i havent prepare anything yet..

only bm, bi, maths and add maths..

others..

i have no idea what to do but to study!

next friday going to get my reportcard..

im prepare to go to hell..

swt swt swt..

sure get scold..

my results sucks!

even i did tried my best..

but still cant i reach my goals!

well, what did jes tell me was true..

i knew..

maybe he's not the right guy for me..

who knows..

time proves everything..

i really dont know what he want from me..

if you didnt mean it..

dont be like this to me..

i'll miss understand..

i've told him..

but he didnt answer my question..

he told me that his result sucks!

okay..

what can i do for you?

but i understand..

you can do better next time..

that's all i can say..

even you black the whole face to me..

i cant do anything but yourself..

this is your decision..

so, dont make the wrong mistake again..

today was nothing much..

ling didnt came school..

cause she's not well thou...

as what she told me..

therefore..

i went to library when recess time..

to do my projects!

swt swt swt..!

got alot le..

i havent done yet..

when moral class, teacher didnt come..

so, cik maznah relif..

kien choong and i went to teacher's office help her with some stuff..

so, we not around for about 3 periods..

hahaha..

i didnt talked to him..

he got lotsa friends what..

im just a spare tire when he needs me..

maybe he still dont know yet..

what've wrote on the previous blog..

this is what i am now....

but he cant do anything about it..

anyway..

that guy who's with me on the campfire day..

he was my tuition classmate..

we're friends..

he's scout also..

and he knew HK too..

as i dont want any miss understand...

can ask szeyen..

she saw him..

flower... nice right?

well....

sorry guys..

today no mood to blog..

there's alot things happen around..

i though it could be my happy day..

but what it ends up is..

im the one who's get mad..

i've heard the song of jay..

安静..

i think alot..

i feel like im crying while listening..

i pretend to be happy..

as what i've always be..

but cant help it..

my tears still drop out..

i still though i got the hope..

and yet im still waiting..

but it's no worth..

so..

let just be quite..

and everything will be okay..

i just dont want to let him know..

even he knew it..

there's nothing he can do...

Today our school got gotong-royong..

Hahaha..

i didnt do anything..

cause non of my business..

even it is..

the malays' will kao tim..

no worries at all!!

Hahahaha..

Well, today was damn tiring..

and i slept in the class during the 7th period..

until the last period..

geng le..

my head keep on pain and pain until..

i wana knock myself to the wall..!!!

Zzzzzzz...

i slept on nearly 1am..

cant you believe it?

all because of brandon's fault!

he and i played maple..

then help me lvl up..

then bla bla bla..

jsut bring me go kai kai around in the game!

well, cant really blame on him..

i also forgot the time too..

swt swt swt..

Plus, today i went to midvalley..!

Yeah~

we just went there on purpose to buy some stuff..

then just walked around..

i bought a new watch!

of course is cheap one lah..

not branded..

but as long as it is nice and can be use..

then is okay for me..

i dont really mind..

Hahaha..

and my brother went to GC cut his hair..

his hair looked like a girl one..

very long until kena displin teacher catch only cut..

swt swt swt..

nowadays he's very naughty lah..

he's always bullied me..

swt swt swt..

im a very teruk sister leh..

sob~ sob~

haih~

but it's nothing de lah..

it's very comment ever since we still a kids

Hahahaha..

Hmmm...

today was nothing much thou..

well today i going to be late to school..

as i have no idea for what reason..

which it's traffic jam!

it's all of sudden..

most of the students were late too...

but luckily im not!

Hahahaha..

Nowadays im so easily get tired..

really really tired..

but no worries...

no matter how tired am i..

i will always blog..

Hahaha..^^

since i aint enough hours to sleep..

therefore, i slept in the class for a few periods..

i mean when teachers are not around..

Plus, it's always rain thou..

-------------------------------------------------------

Today he was emo again..

all because of that girl..

He saw her and he expect her to say hi..

or something like that..

Hmm!!

please le... who would cares about you?

she dumped you, k?

Then, he said she was cruel..

well, people dont want to choi you..

what for you want to choi her?

SILLY people will do so..

everything is over..

why dont you just chill and enjoy your happy life..?

stop thinking about that bitch lah..

She's cruel cause this is reality..

please, you're 17 and yet you acted like a child..

Be more open minded..

Things wouldnt be better if you continue to be like this..

No one would ever help you unless..

you're the one who take the first step..

As im one of your friend..

sometimes i really try my best to help you..

but you just wont a give a hand....

What i can say is..

be more strong..

you're a guy....k?

be more brave to face the reality of life..

if you said she's cruel..

when you realise..

the outside world is more cruel than you though..

Therefore, you should suit yourself

and let people know that you're strong enough

Dont let people touch your heart easily with their sweet words!

Just like a rose..

It was nothing much about today..

just that nowadays i feel tired...

well, i have been rushing here and there..

bcause english coming soon..

so, im one of the commitee sure play a role..

as yuet ai and me are preparing the materials for the newsletters..

there are lotsa things we need to do..

like check the essays, poems.. etc

plus, some of them are in hand writing..

so, we have to type it out..

and bla bla bla things..

im hardly breath..

besides, intervasi exam coming soon..

as what i know is on the next next next week monday..

OMG!!!

i havent prepare anything and yet there is still got moral and pk project too..

mummy ah~~

well, today yun han got come to tuition..

at first we had nothing much to talk about..

so, he just telling me that his school got a campfire..

and he invite me to go there..

well, he also got come to our school's campfire..

hmmm...

actually im not the scout commitee

so, i know nothing about it..

he asked me to teman him..

well, i have to go now cause he's asking me..

as he dont know where is my school..

on the same day..

i got camp too...

so around 7pm i reach school and the party is start..

hahahaha..

cant wait to see..

^0^

today is the second day jes didnt came to school..

she got sick when she went to trip with her family and relatives.

Well, take good care.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hmmm~~

well...

what i wana say is...

im still waiting the guy..

im so silly...

though of he could turn to me..

i guess not.

Cause there's no reason of why..

im take things serious cause this is me..

and now..

he cuts me before and the pain is all i wana feel

is true..

my mum knew it..

she just told me to be more natural..

there's no rush for everyone..

time can proves everything..

therefore, you just be like normal as usual..

if he belongs to you..

he will come to you when it's the right time..

yeah~ i knew this earlier

well, maybe he's not the right guy for me..

Hahaha.. who knows.

Today i think alot...

alot of things whereas happened around me..

well, i have no idea..

things really change so far..

i think i need to catch up thou..

what is blog?

hehehe..

i've no idea what it is for..

to me,

i can express my heart's feelings

towards something or someone..

which i couldnt tell anyone through my mouth..

i admit that i really like to keep secret.

I keep it where i dont want them to worry about me..

i cares my friends more than myself..

where they're my supporter

when im trying to decide on something..

Hahahaah..

i feel that im so silly..

ever since he knew everything about me..

i really dont know how to face him..

mad right?

so, that day we had a movie with the other guys..

im kindaf like:

okay, what should i do?

should i have a talk or something?

Until today it was school reopened.

everything was okay as usual..

we didnt talked much thou..

(really)

we just met each other..

smiles some kind of thing lidat..

he cuts his hair where he told me yesterday..

he asked me whether it looks COOL or not

i said it was okay and nice ..

but most alikely skinny head..

i saw him when im on the way to tuition centre..

where he was ride the bus way to home..

( i guess)

Hahaha..

i was like a SPY le..

mad already!

Well, i really dont know why..

i just feel like want to talk to him..

make him happy..

or some kind of things that i could make him cheers

so, i smsed him..

asked him whether tomorrow got stay back ornot..

he said got..

then i said okay, i hoped i didnt disturb you pikat girls..

he said no lah.. where got pikat girls!

i asked him did he finished his moral project ornot..

he said he didnt do anything and yet i though on wednesday

he did it with the guys right?

but he said he didnt do..

then, i told him that tomorrow im gonna do it..

he asked with who, it is with brandon? if with him then he coming along..

i told him im doing with gar kit and sze yen..

and there's no brandon..

he said see how it is..

depends on tomorrow..

so, i told him YOUR WISH..

that's all ..

since i can suft the internet..

i smsed brandon..

telling him to gimme the account and password for maple..

but he didnt reply me..

maybe he no credits or sleep already..

or maybe buzy with some stuff..

hmmm...

no idea..

hey guys..

im back again...

well, actually is my internet problem thou..

long time didnt blog..

miss it so much!!

well, actually nothing much thou..

just a few things happened around..

but it's okay..

------------------------------------------------------------------

yesterday..

it was 7 of June..

i had a date with the guys..

ling supposed to come along with me..

but it ends up NO

cause her mum's problem..

Hahaha..

it's okay..

so, im the only girl with the guys..

we went to timesquare had a movie..

the movie was so nice and funny..

i laugh until tears came out..

hahaha..

those who didnt watch really waste it..

hmm...

so, my parents fetch us there..

which simon with me

cause woo tung's fault for not waiting him..

swt swt swt..

later on..

we reached there..

and we walked around..

since he never came here before..

i just showed him around..

while waiting the guys..

we had nothing much to talked about..

well, it's time for the movie..

kenneth, daniel, me, simon, kai jun and woo tung

sit in a row..

then brandon and kenneth's brother sit another row..

cause...

(no idea)

the guys wanted me to sit with brandon..

but i refused..

because i dont want them to missunderstand..

plus, how many times i have to tell them?

we are always be friends

no matter how closed we are..

hmp!!!

even brandon had no comment about it..

but i really care okay?

i feel not nice or comfortable about it..

anyway, it's not FUNNY!!

 okay.. let's talked about another thing..

hmmm....

well, i feel something weird about him..

while watching movie..

or should i said..

before the movie started..

he smsed me..

after the movie..

we had our lunch at gasonline..

so, he smsed me again..

i was wondering why..?

cant you just tell me straight forward?

why want to message me?

well, i think i think too much thou..

i had a weird feel about him on that day..

okay..

after the lunch..

we just walked around..

some kind of window shopping.

seriously the guys dont know how to shop..

or should i said they dont know how to walked around..

i mean it..

hmm..

i didnt really talked with brandon on that day..

just feel like there's nothing we could talked about..

plus, im the one who always start the conversation..

so, i guess there is nothing we could really talked about..

unless it's about study or homework..

or something like that..

after the walked..

the guys went home..

he also follow kai jun to LRT station..

and im waiting for my parents..

so, he told daniel and kenneth take good care of me..

make sure im safe..

hahahaha..

please lah..

im 17, okay?

so, we decided went to borders..

while i was reading the comic books..

he called me..

then, when my parents came..

i was totally forgot everything he told me..

so, he called me again and asked the same question..

i apologise to him that i was totally forgot..

well, he did message me that he's home.

i was wondering..

after few minutes..

he messaged me..

tell me to say thanks for my parents..

and telling me that he's going to cut off his hair..

until looks alike skinny head..

i was wondering again..

well, i've no idea of why..

if he could tell me..

hahaha..

even we're best friends..

it wont be like that right..

he cutting off his hair to shows that 

he start a new life..

well, it's kindaf interesting..

i tried that before..

hahaahah..

Today was totally....

hmmm~~~

I was so emo...

Im not me at all....

Everything is over ..

things would change...

I KNOW!

but why would i always hide or ran away from facts?

i lost in the war..

if i could be more brave..

i would have told him everything..

too bad.. i cant

it's not the time yet..

i read his bulletin..

i cried..

the girl played him..

no matter how much he cares about her..

the girl still act him like a puppet..

he said that he loved her so deep..

and it's the FIRST TIME!

so, that's means...

everything he did to me..

he said he likes me...

the way he treat me..

yeah~ he lied to me..

i know..

i understand..

im hurted..

but i pretend i didnt..

i dont wana let him know..

and i pretend that im okay..

i helped him too..

im so SILLY..

he did smsed me..

he told me that he missed her..

okay...so?

i cant do anything either..

you're asking me..

im not you..

you knew her just for a few weeks..

then you fall for her..

and you get dumped now

so, what about me?

did you ever think about me?

did you ever turn and looked at me?

you didnt..

what's in your mind now is her...

everything about her..

you told me everything..

you told me you dreamed about her..

you told me how much you missed her..

but did she do the same as you?

your mum knew about it and scolded you..

it's truth..

this is a good lesson..

if i told you..

you're the one who hurt me..

can you do anything?

im infront of you..

im better than her..

i cares about you more than her..

i understand you more than her..

just abit more..

you also dont give a chance to ourself..

what about our promise?

you forgot ...

is not i dont understand you..

you're the one who dont understand..

now?

it's too late..

everything is over...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

sweet moments...

everyone would loves it..

everyone would missed it..

and you're telling me i dont understand?

i understand more than you..

everything i did for real..

but you dont understand...

is enough..

i hope you dont treat me so good..

which more than just a friend..

if you didnt mean that..

why dont you let go of me?

i hope you know what you doing..

NO! you're more clear than me..

no matter how much tears i gave out..

it's not worth..

but..

ling's lunch set