Today I bring mango pudding for my friends- Jesselina, Yee Ling and Vivian. Well because my mum made it on Sunday. That is I had celebrate the mooncake festival earlier...so, all my siblings came over my house and had dinner together. There got alot of delicious food- also my fav chinese food ever! Wee~ there got roasted duck (big one!), fried chickens (yummy!), chicken legs baked with mushroom, vegetables (simple one), soup (lian ou)- my fav soups and the desert is MANGO PUDDING! YUM YUM YUMMY!!! Wah~ really delicious le! I love it

So, I called them before I bring the MANGGO PUDDING..because I dont want to waste it le.. So, if they really eat then I bring le..Of couse, after they ate finish the pudding..got some comments about that is - TASTE GOOD...VERY NICE! Sure nice la, my mum made it want mah...that's why I love my mum's cooks! Hehe...if got chance, hopefully you girls will try my mum's cook...also mine la! Well, Im not as good as my mum (of course sure la) But I can make simple dishes...as long as I can cooked it! Sob~ I want to eat the cold skin mooncake le..that's my fav le... my mum didnt bought it.. Really sad..

So, Monday "erhem" got talk to me...and I though he was shy and dont dare to talk infront of all my tuition classmates. But then what I had find out that he only talks to me when he got a partner to chat with! So, of course we not only talked but EJEK me! Said me mushroom..am I? Not any more la..friend! My hairstyle change already le...not like those "lala". So, he said that exchange phone..so, I just give him. I also asked for his want la! His phone brand never heard before...and kindaf weird. Whatever..at least can use it! So, he saw my gallery image! OMG -O.O! Got my picture there le...said out loud also no use la! He already saw it...haih~

Today le...nothing much. First, second and third period got teacher come in. Later after the recess following period all is relief teacher come in because the form 5 got the "gerak gempa bumi" exam. So, the teachers need to give advice and guide for them how to answer it! Haih~ so got nothing to do...then I revise and do practice la...I can surely tell you that Im not fully prepare excpet add maths and modern maths....Of course fully prepare for these two subjeck la! I always do practices for everyday since I had learn these subjeck...But still cant said that Im pro la...at least I can take these subjeck to prove myself that Im useful in this world! Well, everyone got their own talent what...just see how are you going to show it up and use it well. Haha...I always like that. But then others subjeck still ok ok ok only...except history and all those hard hard things le...I really want to faint! I just try my best to get score at least a "PASS" this word! Haih~ teacher said maybe before the Hari Raya exam....but still not sure yet. If lepas Hari Raya, at least I still got one more week to study la..

Damn killing me...DARN IT!!!!! But no choice la..everyone need to go through this stage once you are alive and life in this world! Haih~ and then today I just check up my friendster for awhile... "erhem" got send a comment for me.


He said : HAPPY MOONCAKE FESTIVAL. Remember to keep one for me o...k? take care and gambateh for your up coming exam!


Hahahahaha (happy ^O^) But dont mistaken la..We just friends. Future le...I dont know, maybe still friends or futher more...haha who knows? Lastly, I just want to say

Today....just as usual I did! Came to school...then study until the prefects called out. Then, just as usual went to class room and study and bla bla bla...all these stuff! Really nothing much to talk about it. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo BORING! But, today at the last two period is sciece. So, when KC go kacau Miss B...then Miss B shouted at him...when she i just laugh until crazyyy~ Dont know why, but her shouting made me feel funny. So, i just laugh and laugh and laugh! Kahmun and Gurjeet stared at me..they though there got something very funny. But actually is not funny at all...but then I just keep on laughing and laughing. They cannot take it of me so they follow me laugh without any reason. So, my others classmates were looking at 3 of us laugh like HELL!

Later, the bell rang...so, I saw some one that I hate alot! That is Mr. S!!!! I really unlucky...When I went out to the gate house there...he was on the same way as I. But luckily he didnt saw it..PHEW! I went out there and chat for a minites with Jesselina and soon or later, that Mr.S came out with his friends and then Mr. D asked him to wait Mr. K. I think Mr. D just only asked Mr. S waited for Mr. K. Well, non my business...why should I care so much?! Whatever! So, Jesselina mother came and fetch her...So, I waited my mum nearly 1.30 in the afternoon...because I had to wait for my brother!

So, after fetching my brother at his school- SMK PERKASA. My mum just straight away sent me to the tuition because today is Mr.Lim add maths class. Well, concern that I must attended his class...since I take Adrian's aunt tuition. So, today quite fun for the lessons because of Adrian.. He dont understand what is going in the class while we learning the chapter 9- the rate of change. This part was quite hard (for me..I guess) but then Adrian more pity...because while explaining the introduction..his was blurr (like me). So, I was blurr too because Mr. Lim dont know laugh and saying what thing! So, when I saw him like that..I was laughing too. Because he is funny...including Adrian! No matter how hard is Mr. Lim expained...unluckily, Adrian still blurr...because he dont know what is going until Mr. Lim giving many examples from the question then only he knew what it is about! Hahaha..

Well, I also kindaf weird because while he is explaining...I know what to do and answered it! But when I tried to do by my ownself....it is really make me headache until Im so fed up with it! Well, as Mr. Lim said that everyone really dont like this part because they dont understand it (including me) But then if you try to understand it....you will find out that actually is very easy (like really) haha...I also dont know..just try my best as well! After the tuition, came back home...then just rest for awhile...and opened my msn and my BLOGGIE! Just relax abit..chat for awhile with my friends....then play game- maple (popular game among the teenagers..i guess).

Today just as normal...nothing special (is true). When to school early in the morning then just wait for the prefects calling the student went to the assemble. Later, the responsible teacher for last week will said about those class untidy or dirty and bla bla bla...and about our student disipline and all kind of these stuff. I was wondering that how come all the teacher always repeat the same thing...don't they feel boring or annoy? No longer suddenly rain, but then the teacher nothing want...so, until the rain getting heavely only "let the sheep back to ladang" and said what bla bla bla..so BORING!

So, the first period is BM! I don't really like this subject...kindaf boring and I'm kindaf weak in this subject too! The next period is Add Math-one of my fav subject! Well, today teach new chapter 11-index number. Starting not really hard la..but when I see futher the pages...WHAO~ is all the mess..all by using the formulae and substitude inside then bla bla bla...But then 4I class haven't teach till there le..If Im not mistaken they still in chapter 9 (i guess). Well my add math teacher- Pn. Rosmizawati said that 4I class very teruk until like SHIT! But then i though science class suppose to be better than art class right, I mean atitude. Cheh~I like perasan betul showing off myself...haha ^O^. Don't know, many teacher complain about 4I class very bad...maybe the student problem (of course student problem la, if not teachers won't complain about them!)

So, recess time...Pn.Rosmizawati said that : pelajar moral can go recess, if who don't want go any where just stay in class do your own work! Finish recess, continue add math class...later is english- two period..then science also two period. Last period is moral..no teacher come in so, just do our own things la...WAIT!!!! So, when add math class, me, Gurjeet and Kahmun were talking about our own religion prayer things..haha (got nothing to do). We share our own experience..Anyway, this topic was started by Kahmun..don't know why suddenly said that her brother went to genting with friends by car. When the reach their rooms in the hotel, her brother pulled out the beds for his friends...then the bed got a corpse on the bed. So, her brother and friends went to report to the manager. So, the manager gave them some money to keep them from telling to others because...It's all about business problem! Later, Kahmun told me about her brother hostel in some village place like Perak ...this kind of country. She said that her brother lives in the hostel because that time was too late for riding bus to go back home. So, he decided to stay there while holidays. Then while her brother sleeping in the bed..so don't know why the wall suddenly get green colour. Her brother tough that some one paint new colour on the wall, so he don't care and continue to sleep. When her brother turn around, her brother saw someone in green skin sleep beside him. He was shock. So, no more already.

I saw Gurjeet sitting beside me got nothing to do...so I asked her whether she want to hear some stories about "friends" or not. She so excited said: YES! YES! YES! Then faster tell! She said about her religion and her experience about "friends". If she didn't say I also don't know that she got "these eyes" to see the "friends". Then...bla bla bla-long stories! So, she suddenly don't know said what about the "toyol" (looks alike goblin). She said that before her house was built..this area was a grave. Then she said that her flat there at 6th floor, got someone rare the "toyol" ( a kind of "friend"). But now she said that maybe don't have already- who knows? Then she said that she went to some where else very far because she got show...so, her master (dance master) rent a penhouse for one night. So, when she came inside the house she feel creepy and scared because this house feel like got something (i guess). Then, when sleeping time, everyone is sleeping only she can't sleep. Suddenly, she heard someone foot steps. So, she started to scare...then later don't know what bla bla bla...(long story). Can said that is really scare when we talked in the class because the weather started to change windy and is going to rain.

So, we talked about this topic until the last period also haven't finish yet. Of course I also got tell them about mine...Well, if I'm not mistaken Miss JT and SY still remember it..that time we were form 2...I was doing something very bad...Uh! I don't want to say it..It already passed! But then I still remember what I did it...and how I did!! Since that time, ever thing change until now...including my fate! So, I feel regret of what I did...no matter how hard I try. Everything can't change unless myself! Nowadays, I always headacher...why? Because final exam coming soon and also BFA too!! I really don't know what to do...Don't know prepare which want.. Final exam or BFA? Some one HELP MEEE!!!!!

Today, i woke up just as normally i do about nearly 12pm. I was what thinking is what had happen yesterday. I cant stop it. It just came out from my mind through the brain. Why cant i just forget it...i also dont know myself. What i want from who or myself i also dont know. I had lost myself in the woods or jungle...or even in the sea...ocean....outer space? Any where? OR maybe other world? Who knows? No one except if im going to find it out. So, how if i find out what i want? What is going to happen next? It's so complicated.

Relationship...what it is? It is about love things? Yeah~ is truth. Love is really complicated! Once you started your journey...you cant stop it. I'm one of the victim. I had my experience when form 1...firstly, i though is kindaf nice if i had a boyfriend...because i saw my best friend, J(that time). She got alot of boyfriends since she is standard 6...maybe she's mature already (i guess). So, as the time passed by...i was finding out that she is a play girl. Why i said that... Because she had change a lot of boyfriends since she start her journey. Well, her first boyfriend i known is when we were form 1, that is HK. Though that day she said that she likes him so much and wont break up bla bla bla this kind of things. But no longer they broke up because of certain things that's make her so fed up with him (i guess). Later on her second boyfriend was MC. Well, she also said the same thing to me that how much she love him. Soon or later, change to EL. Honestly, i really dont like her much. Everytime said the same thing but didnt do it...what for you telling me. Oh well, why am i saying all these thing? Guess i got nothing to do...

Since i have started this topic about relationship- love. I just continue it...where was I? OHH Yeah~ I had my experinces since i was form 2. That time, i liked AL-the famous and socialise atlet in my school. I dont know why i like him...maybe he was socialise or something else...arr~I dont know la! So, i started to notice him when he first talked to me. That time was nearly new year, so i was giving out the new year cards to my friends. He suddenly came out and asking me for the new year card. So, we just chat abit then end our conversation. Soon or later, that time i have got a gang- Cookies. Cookies got me, JT, SY, AT, KM, KY, EJ and WS. We all always together where ever we went in the school. If got any holidays we tried to plan our time to go shop together or when to JT house. But me, SY and JT always together most of the time because we were same class when form 1. We shared every thing together...but we also got argue for certain things. The most worst is that time Jesmyn was couple with EL, so since she likes him so much..I was trying to get more information about him to her. Later, things were happend when I told her...she thought that I liked him! OMG...what the! I just trying to help here and not liking or fall in love with him! When i heard it, i was so dissapointed. Why could she do such a thing on me? Cant she just think a positive way? So, from that day i never trust her...since she want this way.

So, when we were form 2...I was still stay in the same class and they changed to the first class. Of course, we still always together but our chatting topics get lesser than we were form 1. So, one day...they were sitting with one of the J bitch. They got tell me the reason why but I dont care about it..I do someting make that J bitch lost her controlled like half awake half faint. Actually, I did that for her...I asked non human to do it..of course no one will believe such a nonsence la...i mean most of the people. People will believe it when they saw it. But then, i can saw it and talk with them..so, i asked them to do it. I though that it couldnt happened because it's a nonsence la. So, it happend after recess...I have told JT and SY the truth. So, they told J bitch about...she started scaring once she knew that I the once who did that. Of course I got told my mum about it...but she didnt believe me. Because I seldom talk to my mum (i admit). I can saw non human since I was standard 4...this is my fate. No one can changed but myself. Later on, I dont know why my mum suddenly believe me...But then my uncle said that is okie.. Well, they wont disturb you unless you disturb them. So, I was seeing these thing until when i form 3. But i just ignore them...because they got their own world, i got mine.

I dont know since when that I was thinking about myself...my life! So, days by days...I was wondering and seriously started thinking about my future. Neither my frriends too...I mean what are they doing? They dont even care about their works, their future life and bla bla bla about themself. So, i just quit it....I dont want my life end up like this with doing nothing. I go mix up with V and F. They make me change a lot...they make me study hard and many things. Without their helping, I really cant solve my problems. I feel like im very lucky!! So, many subjects were getting high marks. Besides, I getting know more knowledge too! Err... I almost forgot the main topic! Well, that time AL got called me whether is truth that i liked him. Of course I have told him...So, he told me that: now you like me, doesnt mean tomorrow you will still like me. So, this told me that i need to prove it to him that i liked him! I do many things such as making pudding, jelly (his fav taste) and everything he likes! Well, of course we cant always sms to each other. So, he decide to write letters because we were to shy to talk in school. So, we shared alot of thing about each other...(long story) But the ending is he dont accpet me...

Well, from that day started...my heart had a hole. Im very sad until i dont want to see him...I running away from the truth. Even thou we were under a same tuition...but still, i just ignore him, act him like invisible. Because I want to forget him...I dont want to think anymore...Unfortunately, I cant do it...I cant even get a good sleep! After all these month, I talked to him because think positive...but luckily we were still friends. Because once i reject the person who want to couple with me, they dont want to be friends...they want to act like stranger...dont even know each other. I hate this kind of atitudes le! Think who they are? Look into the mirror only said something!

Until now...someone did like me! Because he had mistaken something. How can a person fall in love with someone so easily? I mean can you imagine...is imposible! To me, now is study and only friendship forever...nothing much to think about it. Well, i admit that I really hope I had a boyfriend when I was form 1 and form 2. But then since my first love end up like this.. I know that it is not the right time for teenagers to having relationship. But, maybe they feel interested in it...and want to try it on. Well, i always remember what had AL told me.. Because his word is right, so i believe what he says. Afterthat, I never had any feeling towards any guys no matter how smart or handsome he is. Every guys just the same to me since AL told me the sentence. Well, now Im very happy with my life...and enjoying it. Because our sixteen years old teenager stage only once in our life. Although it only once in our life...but still is not the right time for me to have a guy yet! Now, I got a new best friend-YL. Well, we met in this year...but then we always together in school where ever we go...holidays also went shopping together. So, many of my friends asked that are you both met since primary. Of course, NO! maybe we really becoming best friend until we were old..(i guess) We shared everything in our life....others says that we looked like twins! Isnt that weird? But I feel that Im lucky to have a best friend like that! When Im down, she comfort me...that's what i want!

Today...nothing special happen. Just woke up, eat lunch then study. Well, yesterday really stress out until I cry infront of YL. So, I told her what had happen everything...Unfortunately, the crazy B suddenly came out..and he saw the scene! Whao~so embarressed le! Somemore he asked why you cried? OMG?!!! So, later i try to slow down myself....then go back the court and play badminton. Luckily I asked YL come, if not I really dont know how.

Today is the worst day ever...i admit that! Why? I might feel shock.. All of a sudden came around..things change easily(i guess) but to me, everything change alot..from the beginning until the end. I was wondering why everything change so fast? Actually i also dont know the answer... I think God will know about it. If we do not change at all..life will be boring! But i dont hope our life always change...change alot it might getting worst or well for sometimes.

Hiah~ i really dont know what am i doing! I betray my best friend? Am i? Well, i feel like i am! Why i do such a thing? Simple...because i dont want to lose to others! Including her..i know she's a top student in my school...no matter how hard i do how hard i try, i will never beat her...unless she's stupid than me...but is impossible! Why? There is no why...although im keep on telling myself not to do that...but i really cannot take iy anymore. Sometimes, i dont really like to mix up with her too much...there's no reason! What i realise is when i mix up with her from the starting. Since form 3, i feel like im different then before...i have change alot because of her.

Until today, Sharon this bitch appear... I though she was nice and a good girl. Unfortunately, it wasnt as i imagine! She's horrible..though who is she?! Look yourself in the mirror la! Think you very pretty or what...but everyone likes her. Likes her because she is charming, gorgeous and bla bla bla? Yukss! Stop that like, you are making someone else want to warmit! So, she was same class with my best friend. And because of her, my best friend seldom mix up with me. When recess time, my best friend always with her..no matter where she go. Since they always together no matter where...everyone starting to talk about this topic and asking are they lesbian?! OMG...lesbian. Starting i ignore about it, later on...alot of rumous about it. So, i asked her..then she said no. Okie, i listen.

I was checking on her, but then i have told her about the bitch things. Then, she said acually you dont understand her and also she feel the same way as you. So, give each other some time to understand more...you will know what kind of person is she. OMG! Really..what the! Honestly, i wont so stupid to do such a thing..it just waste my time with this kind of people. She's clever so what?! Everyone has their own talent...the problem is only time! Everytime if the bitch didnt saw her, she will asked us...did you saw her? Only know these...then nothing else. If she didnt come the bitch will show sad and pity face to everyone that she no one with her..!

Today, when she came to school in the early morning...she saw me, elaine and her bring the racquet. So, she say you all got go ah? Then elaine said yes....so, pearly quah asked why you didnt go? Then she blame her that she didnt told the bitch! OMG! She's the one who said she dont want to play...now what's the problem?! Blaming people...really want to use the racquet smash your face! Then, we reach the badminton place... on the way there, me and her chatting about st.john exams...this is the worst thing i have never had it! It really make me so fed up! I was wondering, why me? Why im the victim? It is God want me to do it by my ownself? But is really not fair i should said that! Why? The answer is easy because someone give them the answer so that they know how to answer the questions!

I feel like it is the best way of that? No wonder i heard someone said that all the form 4 passed the exam! So, i feel weird about it..then i asked her to tell me who give you all the answers? She didnt told me...so, at there we met yun fai and lee wen. So, yun fai told me that this exam held on chung hwa at bla bla bla...so, after i heard what she said about it. I asked yun fai whether got this kind of thing happen? Then he said no ah..just read everything then ok. So, she said why you told him..you promise already you wont tell anyone! So, i told her that i only asked him about it only..no big deal what! Then she said actually no answer and bla bla bla..So, i was wondering you had told me...it is the truth. Although you say no..is already too late. I know she wont tell lie...but i will. I do such a dirty thing because i have to for some situations. It is not because of "face". Later, i message her to tell her that i bla bla bla...but she didnt reply me. Later on, that sundevil message me and say what sorry because of what thing...i was wondering that is he act good people or what? You think said a sorry this word will solve anything? I dont think so...because he's the one who make me think back my passed. Ever since i have told him i dont like him and bla bla bla this kind of thing, i always think about my passed that is i like adrian the famous atlet in my school.

So, i just reply him as what he told me...but that time i really no mood until yun han- my tuition classmate came in....i still cant cheer up myself. I also dont know the reason..maybe it is because of the st.john thing...So, the sundevil said that the way i told him not going to forgive him. Anyway, i dont care who sorry for who or what forgive ornot..i dont even bother about it. I just dont care..you like ornot up to you. As you wish for, non of my business! I have my own freedom...so do you. So, why dont you pick up someone on your own side?! Look yourself in the mirror...those stupid and noob face make people want to punch you! Though yourself is who? Who cares about it? Although you are prefect, so what?! No big deal at all...like shit la!!! So, i just quikly end up the conversation as fast as possible...so, suddenly my tuition classmate asked for my e-mail address. Well, he go add me in the friendster...today, he asked me whether got msn ornot. Then i told him that i will add him! So, about 8pm something..i online and checking my mails..so, i was thinking since i got online just add him la. Then add him ady, he told me that i so fast add him. We just chat abit then he offline already. Well, honestly chatting with him really make me happy. And i also find out something...that is he kindaf shy. He dont dare to talk to me until most of the people go back home already in the tuition. So, weird...

Well, brandon also got message me asked me whether im okie ornot. He really a good friend. Too bad he is too soft...and his best friend treat him like a slave. His best friend got this luck also dont want to appreciate. Really waste le..If me, i also dont know ar. Im so moody today, think alot. I also try not to think alot, but i cant stop it! Everything came out from my mind always my passed...and something that i did badly and bla bla bla. Nothing is happy came out from my mind...i also dont know myself. I dont know where my feeling goes....i dont hope my feeling come back...if come back make me more worst then before the day! Life~!