Today is the worst day ever...i admit that! Why? I might feel shock.. All of a sudden came around..things change easily(i guess) but to me, everything change alot..from the beginning until the end. I was wondering why everything change so fast? Actually i also dont know the answer... I think God will know about it. If we do not change at all..life will be boring! But i dont hope our life always change...change alot it might getting worst or well for sometimes.

Hiah~ i really dont know what am i doing! I betray my best friend? Am i? Well, i feel like i am! Why i do such a thing? Simple...because i dont want to lose to others! Including her..i know she's a top student in my school...no matter how hard i do how hard i try, i will never beat her...unless she's stupid than me...but is impossible! Why? There is no why...although im keep on telling myself not to do that...but i really cannot take iy anymore. Sometimes, i dont really like to mix up with her too much...there's no reason! What i realise is when i mix up with her from the starting. Since form 3, i feel like im different then before...i have change alot because of her.

Until today, Sharon this bitch appear... I though she was nice and a good girl. Unfortunately, it wasnt as i imagine! She's horrible..though who is she?! Look yourself in the mirror la! Think you very pretty or what...but everyone likes her. Likes her because she is charming, gorgeous and bla bla bla? Yukss! Stop that like, you are making someone else want to warmit! So, she was same class with my best friend. And because of her, my best friend seldom mix up with me. When recess time, my best friend always with her..no matter where she go. Since they always together no matter where...everyone starting to talk about this topic and asking are they lesbian?! OMG...lesbian. Starting i ignore about it, later on...alot of rumous about it. So, i asked her..then she said no. Okie, i listen.

I was checking on her, but then i have told her about the bitch things. Then, she said acually you dont understand her and also she feel the same way as you. So, give each other some time to understand more...you will know what kind of person is she. OMG! Really..what the! Honestly, i wont so stupid to do such a thing..it just waste my time with this kind of people. She's clever so what?! Everyone has their own talent...the problem is only time! Everytime if the bitch didnt saw her, she will asked us...did you saw her? Only know these...then nothing else. If she didnt come the bitch will show sad and pity face to everyone that she no one with her..!

Today, when she came to school in the early morning...she saw me, elaine and her bring the racquet. So, she say you all got go ah? Then elaine said yes....so, pearly quah asked why you didnt go? Then she blame her that she didnt told the bitch! OMG! She's the one who said she dont want to play...now what's the problem?! Blaming people...really want to use the racquet smash your face! Then, we reach the badminton place... on the way there, me and her chatting about st.john exams...this is the worst thing i have never had it! It really make me so fed up! I was wondering, why me? Why im the victim? It is God want me to do it by my ownself? But is really not fair i should said that! Why? The answer is easy because someone give them the answer so that they know how to answer the questions!

I feel like it is the best way of that? No wonder i heard someone said that all the form 4 passed the exam! So, i feel weird about it..then i asked her to tell me who give you all the answers? She didnt told me...so, at there we met yun fai and lee wen. So, yun fai told me that this exam held on chung hwa at bla bla bla...so, after i heard what she said about it. I asked yun fai whether got this kind of thing happen? Then he said no ah..just read everything then ok. So, she said why you told him..you promise already you wont tell anyone! So, i told her that i only asked him about it only..no big deal what! Then she said actually no answer and bla bla bla..So, i was wondering you had told me...it is the truth. Although you say no..is already too late. I know she wont tell lie...but i will. I do such a dirty thing because i have to for some situations. It is not because of "face". Later, i message her to tell her that i bla bla bla...but she didnt reply me. Later on, that sundevil message me and say what sorry because of what thing...i was wondering that is he act good people or what? You think said a sorry this word will solve anything? I dont think so...because he's the one who make me think back my passed. Ever since i have told him i dont like him and bla bla bla this kind of thing, i always think about my passed that is i like adrian the famous atlet in my school.

So, i just reply him as what he told me...but that time i really no mood until yun han- my tuition classmate came in....i still cant cheer up myself. I also dont know the reason..maybe it is because of the st.john thing...So, the sundevil said that the way i told him not going to forgive him. Anyway, i dont care who sorry for who or what forgive ornot..i dont even bother about it. I just dont care..you like ornot up to you. As you wish for, non of my business! I have my own freedom...so do you. So, why dont you pick up someone on your own side?! Look yourself in the mirror...those stupid and noob face make people want to punch you! Though yourself is who? Who cares about it? Although you are prefect, so what?! No big deal at all...like shit la!!! So, i just quikly end up the conversation as fast as possible...so, suddenly my tuition classmate asked for my e-mail address. Well, he go add me in the friendster...today, he asked me whether got msn ornot. Then i told him that i will add him! So, about 8pm something..i online and checking my mails..so, i was thinking since i got online just add him la. Then add him ady, he told me that i so fast add him. We just chat abit then he offline already. Well, honestly chatting with him really make me happy. And i also find out something...that is he kindaf shy. He dont dare to talk to me until most of the people go back home already in the tuition. So, weird...

Well, brandon also got message me asked me whether im okie ornot. He really a good friend. Too bad he is too soft...and his best friend treat him like a slave. His best friend got this luck also dont want to appreciate. Really waste le..If me, i also dont know ar. Im so moody today, think alot. I also try not to think alot, but i cant stop it! Everything came out from my mind always my passed...and something that i did badly and bla bla bla. Nothing is happy came out from my mind...i also dont know myself. I dont know where my feeling goes....i dont hope my feeling come back...if come back make me more worst then before the day! Life~!