Today, i woke up just as normally i do about nearly 12pm. I was what thinking is what had happen yesterday. I cant stop it. It just came out from my mind through the brain. Why cant i just forget it...i also dont know myself. What i want from who or myself i also dont know. I had lost myself in the woods or jungle...or even in the sea...ocean....outer space? Any where? OR maybe other world? Who knows? No one except if im going to find it out. So, how if i find out what i want? What is going to happen next? It's so complicated.

Relationship...what it is? It is about love things? Yeah~ is truth. Love is really complicated! Once you started your journey...you cant stop it. I'm one of the victim. I had my experience when form 1...firstly, i though is kindaf nice if i had a boyfriend...because i saw my best friend, J(that time). She got alot of boyfriends since she is standard 6...maybe she's mature already (i guess). So, as the time passed by...i was finding out that she is a play girl. Why i said that... Because she had change a lot of boyfriends since she start her journey. Well, her first boyfriend i known is when we were form 1, that is HK. Though that day she said that she likes him so much and wont break up bla bla bla this kind of things. But no longer they broke up because of certain things that's make her so fed up with him (i guess). Later on her second boyfriend was MC. Well, she also said the same thing to me that how much she love him. Soon or later, change to EL. Honestly, i really dont like her much. Everytime said the same thing but didnt do it...what for you telling me. Oh well, why am i saying all these thing? Guess i got nothing to do...

Since i have started this topic about relationship- love. I just continue it...where was I? OHH Yeah~ I had my experinces since i was form 2. That time, i liked AL-the famous and socialise atlet in my school. I dont know why i like him...maybe he was socialise or something else...arr~I dont know la! So, i started to notice him when he first talked to me. That time was nearly new year, so i was giving out the new year cards to my friends. He suddenly came out and asking me for the new year card. So, we just chat abit then end our conversation. Soon or later, that time i have got a gang- Cookies. Cookies got me, JT, SY, AT, KM, KY, EJ and WS. We all always together where ever we went in the school. If got any holidays we tried to plan our time to go shop together or when to JT house. But me, SY and JT always together most of the time because we were same class when form 1. We shared every thing together...but we also got argue for certain things. The most worst is that time Jesmyn was couple with EL, so since she likes him so much..I was trying to get more information about him to her. Later, things were happend when I told her...she thought that I liked him! OMG...what the! I just trying to help here and not liking or fall in love with him! When i heard it, i was so dissapointed. Why could she do such a thing on me? Cant she just think a positive way? So, from that day i never trust her...since she want this way.

So, when we were form 2...I was still stay in the same class and they changed to the first class. Of course, we still always together but our chatting topics get lesser than we were form 1. So, one day...they were sitting with one of the J bitch. They got tell me the reason why but I dont care about it..I do someting make that J bitch lost her controlled like half awake half faint. Actually, I did that for her...I asked non human to do it..of course no one will believe such a nonsence la...i mean most of the people. People will believe it when they saw it. But then, i can saw it and talk with them..so, i asked them to do it. I though that it couldnt happened because it's a nonsence la. So, it happend after recess...I have told JT and SY the truth. So, they told J bitch about...she started scaring once she knew that I the once who did that. Of course I got told my mum about it...but she didnt believe me. Because I seldom talk to my mum (i admit). I can saw non human since I was standard 4...this is my fate. No one can changed but myself. Later on, I dont know why my mum suddenly believe me...But then my uncle said that is okie.. Well, they wont disturb you unless you disturb them. So, I was seeing these thing until when i form 3. But i just ignore them...because they got their own world, i got mine.

I dont know since when that I was thinking about myself...my life! So, days by days...I was wondering and seriously started thinking about my future. Neither my frriends too...I mean what are they doing? They dont even care about their works, their future life and bla bla bla about themself. So, i just quit it....I dont want my life end up like this with doing nothing. I go mix up with V and F. They make me change a lot...they make me study hard and many things. Without their helping, I really cant solve my problems. I feel like im very lucky!! So, many subjects were getting high marks. Besides, I getting know more knowledge too! Err... I almost forgot the main topic! Well, that time AL got called me whether is truth that i liked him. Of course I have told him...So, he told me that: now you like me, doesnt mean tomorrow you will still like me. So, this told me that i need to prove it to him that i liked him! I do many things such as making pudding, jelly (his fav taste) and everything he likes! Well, of course we cant always sms to each other. So, he decide to write letters because we were to shy to talk in school. So, we shared alot of thing about each other...(long story) But the ending is he dont accpet me...

Well, from that day started...my heart had a hole. Im very sad until i dont want to see him...I running away from the truth. Even thou we were under a same tuition...but still, i just ignore him, act him like invisible. Because I want to forget him...I dont want to think anymore...Unfortunately, I cant do it...I cant even get a good sleep! After all these month, I talked to him because think positive...but luckily we were still friends. Because once i reject the person who want to couple with me, they dont want to be friends...they want to act like stranger...dont even know each other. I hate this kind of atitudes le! Think who they are? Look into the mirror only said something!

Until now...someone did like me! Because he had mistaken something. How can a person fall in love with someone so easily? I mean can you imagine...is imposible! To me, now is study and only friendship forever...nothing much to think about it. Well, i admit that I really hope I had a boyfriend when I was form 1 and form 2. But then since my first love end up like this.. I know that it is not the right time for teenagers to having relationship. But, maybe they feel interested in it...and want to try it on. Well, i always remember what had AL told me.. Because his word is right, so i believe what he says. Afterthat, I never had any feeling towards any guys no matter how smart or handsome he is. Every guys just the same to me since AL told me the sentence. Well, now Im very happy with my life...and enjoying it. Because our sixteen years old teenager stage only once in our life. Although it only once in our life...but still is not the right time for me to have a guy yet! Now, I got a new best friend-YL. Well, we met in this year...but then we always together in school where ever we go...holidays also went shopping together. So, many of my friends asked that are you both met since primary. Of course, NO! maybe we really becoming best friend until we were old..(i guess) We shared everything in our life....others says that we looked like twins! Isnt that weird? But I feel that Im lucky to have a best friend like that! When Im down, she comfort me...that's what i want!

Today...nothing special happen. Just woke up, eat lunch then study. Well, yesterday really stress out until I cry infront of YL. So, I told her what had happen everything...Unfortunately, the crazy B suddenly came out..and he saw the scene! Whao~so embarressed le! Somemore he asked why you cried? OMG?!!! So, later i try to slow down myself....then go back the court and play badminton. Luckily I asked YL come, if not I really dont know how.